I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
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Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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