I'm so fucking centered right now
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
we should paint friendship bongs
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