I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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