My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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