his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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