I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize