Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Me too!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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