im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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