She is in my trunk
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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