You can't motorboat a personality
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have tasted many bathrooms
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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