my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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