so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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