Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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