seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize