I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I still have a little drunk in my system
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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