Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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