Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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