You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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