If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize