so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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