Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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