I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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