census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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