just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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