You work out of a Hotel?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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