atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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