OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
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I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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