Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize