Your tits are I can't wait for
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize