It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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