I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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