What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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