so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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