He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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