She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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