eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All the doctor said was why
Randomize