No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
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I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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