dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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