hotel room ftw
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
wrigley field is MILF paradise
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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