Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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