Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize