Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize