Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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