why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
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