someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize