is your mom at the bar?
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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