that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Someone came in the potted fern
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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