She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
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we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
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Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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