so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
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If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
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He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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