I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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